Consumed ~2500 calories. Lifted weights.
I haven't been this sad in a long time. What is all the calorie and macronutrient counting for if it doesn't produce the desired or expected results? Two months wasted. Granted in the last week or two I haven't been completely compliant with my nutrition plan, but I certainly did not eat so much as to gain an entire pound of fat. And what about the rest of the 2 months? Was I not compliant then? Obviously I shouldn't have ignored my increasing measurements. But what of it? I ignored it because visually I think I look better. I can see my abs when I flex. I have muscles everywhere.
Indeed, why should I let a number dictate my emotions? Well, there is the matter of the madman commitment I'd made several months ago. But was it not made so that I'd work to get a body I was happy with? And just last night, I was posing in front of the mirror like the vain supermodel that I'm not and I was really pleased with what I saw! Fuck the numbers. I'm happy with my body. I don't need a number to make me happy.
That having been said, I will continue to work to improve my body. In fact, I will redouble my efforts. I'll be lowering my calorie intake to an even 1900 calories/day, no carb cycling. Should I plateau at any point, then I'll start up the carb cycling again, but I don't think it's necessary at this point in time. I'll stay with the 45% carbs / 35% protein / 20% fat because I do like this diet much better than what I had before, though this diet is admittedly more expensive. Eh, if it gets to the point where I am short on cash, I'll revert to my previous diet of moderate rather than high protein intake.
This morning when I was feeling really glum, I took my frustration with me to the gym and smashed through all my personal bests in terms of weight lifting.
You know, when I started writing this post I was still wallowing in self-pity. Now I feel empowered and motivated again. I'm taking this weekend off from strict dieting, though I don't plan on binging. On monday I will begin the physique transformation competition with my four teammates. The journey continues.
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